What If Jim Accepted the Job at Corporate?
by Parker Pine
Summary: What if Jim had decided to leave his past in the past and embrace the corporate life?
1. The Job Part 1

_The first three chapters are basically a re-write of the Season 3 episode "The Job." The first third of the episode is chapter 1, the second third of the episode is chapter 2. The third part of the episode will be chapter 3. The alternate timeline will start in chapter 4._

_I chose to do it this way because I felt like I could better get in the characters heads. I also threw in a few extra lines to kinda flesh out the back story._

_Appreciations to my fellow author fishe153 for giving me ideas and helping me make the narrative tighter._

* * *

Karen ruffled Jim's hair on the way to the car. "Have you ever thought about getting a hair cut?"

"Once," he said thoughtfully, "when I was 12." He laughed as Karen playfully slapped his arm.

"No, dummy, I mean for the interview."

"What's wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing, I just figured you wouldn't want to look so..." she paused, searching for the right word.

"So suave? debonair? handsome?"

"Homeless," she finished.

"Ouch!" he said, climbing in the car. "Filippelli with the low blow."

* * *

"Hey! What's different about you, you look worse?" Kevin asked obtusely.

"Thank you."

"You got a haircut! Looks sexy. Hot," Meredith said, mauling Jim with her eyes.

"Ohh..." Jim muttered, looking at the camera.

"Turn around," she continued. "Do it!"

Andy shouted from across the office, "Ruh-duh-do! S'up, Big Haircut? You are no longer Big Tuna. From henceforth you shall be known as Big Haircut."

Karen smiled on while Jim tried to say something to Andy without being interrupted by his new nickname. "Hey," Pam's voice made her twinge a bit. "I think it looks great."

"Thanks Pam," Jim smiled, and the awkward look he flashed around the office made Karen's heart swell.

"Of course he wants me," she said to herself. "Look at the way she makes him feel now."

She hoped the words were true. Ever since Pam's outburst at the beach, there was a weird mood hanging over the office. Snide remarks made behind her back, snickering after she left a room...Karen actually felt a little bad for her, so when Pam caught up with her in the break room, she reassured her that they were okay. "We all say things without thinking," she offered with a smile.

"Oh, no, it's not that; I've actually been thinking that for a long time, and I'm glad I said it. I just...I'm sorry if it made you feel weird."

Karen looked back at Pam almost vacantly. "Oh...okay."

"Pam is...kind-of a bitch!" She told the camera crew, and was pleased to see their nods. "You should have seen it when she was with Roy," one of them said, "We all felt she was a total bitch to Jim."

* * *

Karen left the room and walked over to Jim's desk. "Halpert." He looked up. "What if we leave tonight? Grab a bite; get a hotel room; enjoy the city a little bit?"

"Uh..." He replied, shaking his head, "I just have so much paperwork to do." He looked up at her and sighed while she made a motion to leave. He scribbled a "JH" on the bottom corner of a page and said, "Wow! Done," flashing that smile she loved so much.

They walked into the kitchenette and found Michael reading an article on Merryl Streep. "Hey," Jim said, "I was wondering if Karen and I could get off a few hours early 'cause we wanna spend the night in the city?"

"Why? so you can do it?" Michael asked, giggling like moron.

"Whoops..." Jim muttered, indicating Michael's mistake.

"No, um, I was thinking that we could all leave tomorrow, do a convoy? Convoys are really fun. Pull up next to each other; give each other the finger; moon each other..."

Jim nodded and said, "Mmm" a few times while tuning him out. "Well, we're gonna go up there tonight; but we're gonna see you there tomorrow morning, right?"

"All right, your loss."

"Wait," Karen put her hand on Jim's arm to stop him from leaving, "how would you moon us if you were driving?"

"Cruise control," Michael said, almost condescendingly.

Kevin had been pestering Jim for the past few days over who he thought was hotter, Pam or Karen. Not wanting to get involved in something as dumb as this, he gave Kevin an assignment: Make a list of what makes both girls hot and get back to him later. "Will do," Kevin nodded. Jim smiled, thinking of how he'd miss things like this.

* * *

"Oh Jim." Dwight mused. "Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim."

He looked up, "Oh, hey, Dwight!"

"I am gonna be your new boss," he chuckled. "It's my greatest dream come true. Welcome to the Hotel Hell: Check-in time is now, check-out time is never!"

Jim loved these games. "Does my room have cable?"

"No," Dwight replied, squeezing his grip strengthener. "And the sheets are made of fire!"

Jim nodded. "Can I change rooms?"

"Sorry, we're all booked up. Hell convention in town."

"Can I have a late check-out?"

"I'll have to talk to the manager."

"You're not the manager? Even in your own fantasy? Are you the assitant to the manager?" Check.

"...I'm the owner. Co-owner...with Satan!"

"Okay, just so I understand it," Jim began to set up his endgame, "in your WILDEST fantasy, you are in Hell, and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil."

"But I haven't told you my salary yet."

"Go." He smirked.

"Eighty. Thousand. Dollars. A year."

"I didn't know someone could put themselves in checkmate," Jim thought as Dwight went into the conference room for an interview.

* * *

"Michael!" A voice nobody wanted to hear.

"Why?" Michael faltered. "...are you here?"

Karen looked up from her desk to see Jan and Michael talking. She walked away and Michael lingered at reception for a moment, saying something to Pam. "I wonder if she's going to try and date Michael now," she thought bitterly, but immediately felt bad for it. BLING! An IM from Pam:

"DEFCON 10. Michael wants us in the conference room in five minutes."

She knew Phyllis was on her side, and Angela's apathy towards the whole situation was so thick you could cut it with a knife, but it was still weird sitting in the room with these women. She knew she couldn't stay if Jim got the job.

"DEFCON 20!" Michael said, rushing into the room.

"He's really gotta learn how that works," she thought.

"She wants to get back together."

"What are you gonna do?" Phyllis asked.

"I don't know," said an agitated Michael, "that's why you're here! Help me."

Karen piped up, "Would you wanna get back together with her?"

"No! No. What do I do?"

"Just don't get back together with her," Pam stated matter-of-factly.

"What if she makes me?" Michael asked, scared.

"How can she make you get back together with her?" Karen almost felt like Angela was going to say "retard" at the end of the question.

"She made me do a lot of things I didn't wanna do." He almost seemed in pain. "Squick," thought Karen.

Pam looked Michael in his eyes and said, "This was a terrible relationship. You were not happy when you were with her-"

"I wasn't," he agreed.

"You're so much happier now! Just go in there and be strong."

Karen nodded. Despite how she felt about her, Karen really did agree with Pam. "You're right! Absolutely right. I'm just gonna go in there and tell her that we can't be together!" They all agreed and wished him luck. After he left the room they all sighed and went back to their desks. Only time would tell.

* * *

"Oh my God." Jim looked up to see what Pam was talking about.

"Oh my God," he thought. He turned and looked at her; she was pantomiming and mouthing the words "SO HUGE."

"Bigger, actually," he said aloud, smiling.

"It's crazy!" She whispered at him.

"Oh my God, can you believe that?" Karen said, walking in between them from the copier. She didn't want to resort to this, but she had to make her stand.

"Unbelievable," Jim replied, shaking his head and turning to watch Jan in the break room.

"Wow."

"She could put the cup right there," Jim gestured towards the middle of his chest.

"I know! At least she doesn't have to worry about getting injured in a car wreck."

Jim laughed and Karen went up to reception. She looked Pam right in her eyes and said, "Before we leave, could you make half a dozen copies of mine and Jim's sales reports for our interviews?" There was nothing definite, but Pam could almost guarantee she heard emphasis on the words "we," "mine and Jim's," and "our."

Pam lightly nodded and said, "Uh...sure. Yeah, no problem."

* * *

"Thanks for driving me to my interview," Karen said from the passenger seat.

"Yeah, no problem." He rode in silence for a moment. "So what are you interviewing for? My assistant or...?" There was that smile she loved.

"Oh, you know I'm having a 'Congratulations Karen' party at my friend's house tomorrow night." She retorted.

"Ooh, that sounds fun." He got a quizzical look on his face. "Is your friend named Karen, too? What did she accomplish?"

"He is way too good at this," she thought warmly. "Clearly you're having trouble with this. I'm sorry, I should've been clearer. It's for me."

"Oh!" He exclaimed.

"'Cause I'm gonna get the job."

"Yeah, I got that part. You're gonna get the job of my assitant. Stick with me, Filippelli; you'll go far, kid."

She laughed as they got on to the interstate.

* * *

_So there we are! Thoughts? :)_


	2. The Job Part 2

Part II

Jim and Karen found a parking garage on the outskirts of the city and hopped on the subway to Manhattan.

"So! We have all night; where do you wanna go first?" Karen asked, climbing the stairs and emerging onto Lafayette Street

"Hmm, I dono. How about the UN?"

Karen laughed. "How often do you come here?"

"Everytime my 6th grade class was on a field trip."

"I think you're really gonna enjoy this, Adult Jim," she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him down the street.

* * *

Jim recapped their night to the camera while Karen pulled money out of an ATM. She was enjoying being back in the city and hoped she and Jim could become permanent fixtures. "Oh! And at this one bar, I swear I saw Lorne Michaels," she heard Jim exclaim.

"That wasn't him!" She said as she grabbed the money out of the ATM. "C'mon, you."

They started walking down the street, taking in the night air; the constant noise of downtown New York was oddly soothing to both Jim and Karen. He looked down at her and smiled and she asked, "So what's gonna happen with us when I get this job?"

He laughed and asked, "Oh, you mean when _I_ get the job?"

"Well, _if_ you get the job...then, I'd move here with you." Jim walked in silence for a moment, and Karen understood. This was a big thing to drop on him all of a sudden, especially considering they weren't even living together yet. "Would you move with me?"

He looked back at her and she pressed on, "I'm not stupid, okay? I was at the beach; we don't have a future in Scranton. There's one too many people there..." she trailed off, looking at the ground.

"You mean Kevin?"

Karen looked up and Jim was smiling down at her. She couldn't help but be moved by it. "Exactly," she returned the smile. "But you get it, right? We can't stay there." Karen wouldn't label Jim as passive-aggressive, but she knew he wouldn't talk about if she didn't.

He nodded slowly, and his smile deepened as he said, "Yeah. I do." He moved to cross the street, "C'mon." He grabbed her hand as they crossed.

* * *

Jim held out his arm for a taxi. "Would I really move here with her?" he asked himself. "I care about her, obviously, and she DID move to Scranton to be with me, but is that a reason to move to New York?" A third taxi drove past them and he gave up. "Filippelli, you're up."

She stood on the curb to hail a cab and he smiled. "She's smart, she's funny, she gets me. I was never an alternate for her."

"HA! See, Halpert? What would you do without me?" She asked as they climbed into the cab.

"I honestly don't know," he admitted under his breath as Pam gave the cabbie their hotel address.

"Hmm?" she asked, sitting back and pulling his arm over her shoulders.

He looked down at her, and as the lights from outside softly illuminated her face, he kissed her and said, "I honestly don't know what I'd do without you."

Karen nuzzled into his side even more and smiled.

* * *

"Hmmm...how're you guys doin'? Need anything?" Michael asked, staring across the waiting area at Jim and Karen.

Karen looked up from her newspaper and shook her head, "Naw, we're good. Thanks."

"I have been here a bunch of times," Michael continued. "So I know where everything is, know everbody's names; if you need to know somebody's name, just ask me."

Jim smiled and accepted his challenge. "Who's that?" He nodded towards an older, bearded gentleman standing at the reception desk.

Michael turned and saw the man in question. "That...is Beardy."

Jim's face faked surprise at Michael's knowledge. "'Beardy?' Why don't I go introduce myself?" He started to rise and Michael quickly backpedaled.

"No no! That's not his real name; that's just what I call him."

Jim knew he had shaken Michael's confidence by playing along. He didn't want to, but his reasoning was that Michael tried it first by feigning knowledge. Michael left out to do an interview with cameras as Jim went back to playing on his phone.

Karen peeked over his shoulder and noticed what he was doing. "Those bricks aren't gonna break themselves, are they?" She teased. He looked up at her and smiled. "You know, you are the worst interviewee ever," he said.

"Oh?"

"Mhmm."

"Explain yourself," she said, ruffling his hair.

He smoothed it back down into place and said, "Here I am, playing games on my phone and trying to remember all the lyrics to "Informer", and you're over there reading about stock prices and company information. You're so prepared."

They laughed together as Michael came in and sat back down; before he'd settled in, a young man walked out of the back offices. Michael perked up and said, "Hunter! Wuzzup, my brotha?" He turned to Jim and Karen and introduced him, "This is Hunter, Secretary Extraordinaire."

"Administrative Assistant," Hunter corrected him.

"Is Jan in yet?" Michael asked, turning back to Hunter.

"I think she's coming in later."

"Could you give her a message for me when she gets in?"

Hunter nodded and said, "Sure," as he grabbed his Palm Pilot out of his pocket.

"Just say, 'I want to squeeze them.'" Hunter looked at him incredulously. "It's code," Michael assured him. "She'll know what it means."

Hunter smiled and put away his Palm Pilot without writing anything, "Okay." He shared a knowing look with Jim and Karen and went to leave.

"Oh, and Hunter? Could you tell her, 'Brr-rrr-rrr,' also?"

"Did he really just make the motorboating noise?" Karen whispered to Jim, whose only reply was to look forward in shock.

* * *

"Mr. Scott?" Grace, the receptionist, said.

Michael kept looking at his fingers trying to figure out what the orange stuff under his nails was.

"Mr. Scott?" Grace repeated, a little louder.

Jim realized that Michael was not used to being called by anything but his first name. "Michael!" Jim said, getting his attention. Michael looked at him and he followed his finger pointing to Grace.

"Mr. Scott, Mr. Wallace will meet with you now," she said sweetly.

For a brief second, Jim felt bad for Michael. He'd never shown him respect as a boss or as a person, really, nor had anyone in the office short of Andy and Dwight. He watched him walk through the doors and said, "Good luck, Michael!" Michael turned to look at him and smiled.

Jim's phone buzzed and he looked down at his text messages.

_"Im the new secret Ass2RegMan."_  
_"Schrute on am i doing here?"_  
_"Fyi: nitrogen is good for trees."_  
_"Schrute $:Stanley Nickles::Unicorns:Leprechauns"_

Jim laughed as he scrolled through Pam's messages. "What's so funny?" Karen asked. Jim showed her the text messages and shrugged when asked what they meant.

"Ms. Filipelli? Mr. Wallace will see you now."

Karen stood up, grabbed her attache, and turned to Jim. "How do I look?"

He scanned her top to bottom and replied, "Good enough to be my assistant."

She bent down, kissed him on the cheek, and walked to the back offices.

* * *

_Lord! That took forever, didn't it?_


End file.
